Two cats are missing, again.

One is my little Velcro. She's been missing for over a week. The other is Courtney, whom I haven't seen for a couple of days. Both of them are like my shadows, but they are scared of the kittens. I also suspect the neighbours dogs might have a paw in things. They aren't viscious canines or anything...just the fact that they are dogs scares my cats.

*plttttt*

I go out and call them at the top of my lungs...I'm pretty sure a person could hear me up on the main road, I'm so loud. I'd be a serious contestant in a pig-calling contest.

That's all. Just worried about my girls. They're sisters, too. I helped their mom, Sybil (who NEVER gets lost anywhere!). to birth them, so they are very special to me. Well, all the cats are.

Bleh. Please send "come home!" vibes to them. These woods are the opposite of hospitible to felines. Thanks...

A little survey meme thingie. ( Peruse at your leisure under the cut... )

Keith Olbermann dedicated the entire hour of Countdown tonight to one of his Special Comments regarding healthcare in America. It's broken into 5 videos. Please take the time to watch all 5 of them. You can then quietly make up your own mind as to why we need something along the lines of Medicare for all U.S. Citizens.

Thank you...

Did I ever mention that a couple of weeks ago I took in a pregnant mama kitty? No? LOL

( Here are the sordid details, under the cut. ;) )

So, today, I think that she's in labour. She's following me everywhere, licking herself incessantly, puking, not eating or drinking much, making mama-calls and low growls, and doing some panting. That's what I remember the signs being when Mama Snowball, Mama Sybil, and Mama Claudia were getting ready to have their babies so long ago.

I hope all is going to be well for her. She's a very quiet, sweet girl. No more getting thrown out of the house because she was being a cat and scratched a rambunctious kid. No more being forced to live outdoors and then being blamed for getting pregnant when her owners were too irresponsible to get her fixed to prevent an unwanted litter. No more being showed a little attention because you had kittens and then being tossed outdoors because you got pregnant again for the very same reason as the first time.

Yeah, maybe she is better here with me. Coyotes and all...

Cross-posted from Facey Space. :)

I am cleaning house today. This place is such a mess..moreso than normal. The mess has taken on a life of its own. I must beat it down into retreat!

Begone, dirty laundry mountain and recycling pile and the dreaded dust monsters! Time to rent a U-...Haul van and go to the dump to drop off recycling and Goodwill to drop off some of the superfluous shit I've collected over the years.

Comments:

Me: And besides...my Darling Daughter is coming up to stay for a while between quarters. I wanted to do a little cleaning up so she doesn't go into shock at the sight of all the mess around here. LOL It's pretty bad.

Several months of trying but not really being able to do just normal, everyday stuff around here because of my very uncooperative arm is...well, pretty gross.

My arm feels really good today!

*knocks furiously upon her solid oak desk*

It's still a long way from being healed, but at least that awful pain has all but gone away. I just have to be careful today to not do too much to get it all riled up again. Slow and steady and take rest breaks when it starts to bitch at me a little.

:D

My Darling Daughter: Nothing I could ever see in your house could shock me, Mom. I grew up with it. I'm acclimated. ;)

My back feels better too! *knocks furiously on wood* We're going to need to get some of that Biofreeze stuff from your PT place, because D is having back pain, and has a busy week ahead of him. We could only afford the one bottle, and it was only $15, so I'm sure we could swing one from there.

Me: I dunno. It's pretty bad. Even for me! I just sorta gave up after a while, because everytime I tried to accomplish soemthing around here, I'd aggravate my shoulder, the pain would spiral outta control, and I'd run outta steam. I'm not who I was even just from when we did your yard. I feel like I am a weak old woman and that really scares me.

Maybe I should just concentrate on my bedroom and bathroom. Those are the worst. Well, the kitchen is bad, too. LOL I'll just work on my room, for now. At least we'll have somewhere to retreat to when it gets too dusty in the rest of the house.

You have NO IDEA how much I appreciate you coming up here. Not just the visit itself, but your willingness to help me get this place...better than it is. I'm not blowing smoke up yer ass; there's a shitload of stuff to do around here, and it's all pretty gross, but if we could get the house under some kind of control, that'd be more than enough!

Me: Lately, sometimes I feel like those horror stories on the news. You know the ones, where there's some old person who's an animal hoarder and they are mentally ill and the authorities step in to either take the animals away and condemn the place, or enlist community help to clean the place up and make things okay again. LOL My worst nightmare!

I'm not at that stage yet, but I know if something isn't done soon, it could easily get onto that path.

I was doing really well before the flu knocked me for a loop and the shoulder thing snowballed into now. The yard looked okay and the house was clean. Not organised, but clean. I was in the middle of organising and sorting when the flu attacked me. It's been downhill, really fast, ever since. It was scary how fast it happened. Really scary...but things are looking up! YAY!!

Me: I'll see if I can get some of that BioFreeze on Monday when I go to PT, okay? I know they have it there for PT use, so they proabaly have it for sale, too. If not, I know that Amazon has it. And I have free shipping because I'm so cool. :P

Really. I don't have any complaints. But...the day is still young. LOL

And this is for today, Friday. I'm really exhausted and need some sleep, so I think I'm probably going to be in bed for the rest of the evening. Totally beat! ( Once again, it's long, and whiney, and blah blah blah. It's also kinda funny in a weird way, so continue on at yer own peril. :) )

Okay. The long screed I last posted in LJ was from Facebook on Wednesday afternoon. What follows are several posts from yesterday, Thursday. I think I spend too much time on Facebook, and not enough time in here. I've been posting LJ-sized rants over there and pretty much nothing in LJ. Facebook is not the venue for my type of LJ-sized rants. ( Of course, they're long, whiney and rambling, so read at yer own peril. I didn't include anyone elses comments. )

Okay. I am developing a weird reaction to the pain when I or the therapists stretch out my arm and shoulder. There is no doubt the pain is intense when doing two stretches in particular. However, it's making me sick to my stomach...as in the pain is so intense that it makes me at least want to hurl. Sometimes that's what I actually do. I try not to have a full stomach when I do them. It's rather...weird.

( Please continue if you don't mind a long, rambling rant about my current physical ailment that is consuming my life at the moment. No, I'm not dying or anything, I'm just in a <I>lot</I> of pain and have to get some of the frustration out of my system. It's what I posted on Facebook last night, sans other people's comments. If you'd rather skip it, I totally understand. I'd like to skip it myself, if I could! :P )

Okay. I am developing a weird reaction to the pain when I or the therapists stretch out my arm and shoulder. There is no doubt the pain is intense when doing two stretches in particular. However, it's making me sick to my stomach...as in the pain is so intense that it makes me at least want to hurl. Sometimes that's what I actually do. I try not to have a full stomach when I do them.

It's rather...weird. Any suggestions, Dear Flist?

Went to PT yesterday. After all the stretching and stuff that they did for me that I can't really do for myself, I felt sick to my stomach for the rest of the day just from the pain. I know that they have to do it, but after finding out that it may take up to a year to get my shoulder back into 100% working order, I went on a crying jag. BOOO..!

This is what Frozen Shoulder, or Adhesive Capsulitis is.

While I am definitely improving, I still have a looong way to go. Next month, I'm getting back on my thyroid meds, since that is probably one of the reasons this happened. Can't do much about my age. Sure wish I'd have not slept, immobilised, so much when I had the flu in the spring. Right after is when I first started noticing the problem. Sure wish that I'd have gone to the Doc sooner, but I can't so anything about that now, either. Hopefully, I'm in the Thawing Stage and things will continue to improve.

This has affected every aspect of my life and even though I really do my best to keep a positive attitude and do my at-home exercises and stretches, this is really getting me down. It's highly frustrating and it fucking hurts BAD most of the time. I've NEVER experienced anything like this before. Even when my back and sciatica was at its absolute worse, I could get some relief from PT and stretching exercises...and yes, pain meds. None of that is really happening with this.

I guess I'll just continue to do what I've been doing, because it won't get any better if I don't. And I'll continue to bitch and moan about it, so sorry about that and just skip over what I write when it happens. All I want is to have my shoulder back in working order and the fucking pain to stop. Is that asking too much?

The ground squirrels and chipmunks up near Ross Dam and Ross Lake, on Washington State Route 20 (head east at Mount Vernon from I-5), are tiny camera hogs like this little guy at Lake Banff in Canada. I love the jaunty manner and intensely pleasant look on his face. I dare you not to at least chuckle at this.

Because it will just plain make you feel happy...and who doesn't need a little of that? :)

Also, please read the description to the right. It's really quite an amazing story. The two men have written a book, and there's also a Discovery special telling the story of Christian, Ace and John. I've seen it before, but I watched it again tonight, because I knew it'd cheer me up...

It's been brought to my attention that my Jerk-O-Meter alarm has been going off again and I've been ignoring it. It happens at least once a year, and it usually takes something outside my own coldly emotional perimeters to smack me upside the head and catch my attention.

I let myself get so tightly wound that I completely lose myself and turn into a raging jackass without being aware that it's happening. It seems to be disguised, to myself, as "wisdom" or "experience" or some other loftily self-percieved notion that I'm cooler than shit. I can spell it any way I want, but it always comes back to "pompous asshole".

I have been static for too long. A good portion of the cause is the crap concerning my bum arm and my fear that I was permanantly Out of Order. The rest is just the way my head works and how easily I can downward spiral into The Land of Assholery when I'm not paying attention.

I need to do more than just sit and think about stuff. I need to do way more than just hang out on the computer. I seem to be happiest when I am busy doing constructive things, so that my mind is distracted from too much outside stimulation.

No more politics in any form. No more surfing the Interwebs for frivolous bullshit. No more mindless TV watching. No more "constructive criticism", because there is no such thing. No more sitting and stewing about...whatever. No more thinking that I'm smarter or better than anyone else just because I've been on the fucking planet longer than a lot of people I know. No more...a lot of things in the same vein that makes me an awful person who just pisses people off in a hurtful way.

I get to a point where I don't even recognise myself any longer. I'm at that point right now. I hurt people I love and care a lot about. Not because I want to, but because my own inflated ego gets in the way. I think I know best when in reality, I don't know shit.

I don't like this person who I morph into from time to time. It happens so subtly. It sneaks up on me. I guess that I'm at least one step ahead in the game in that I DO know that it happens. I just don't know that it's happening, when it's happening.

I'm taking myself off the radar for a while. Yeah, yeah...I said that not too long ago. But now I really need to do it. I need to step away from the computer and the TV and concentrate on finding Rene of my childhood again. I'm normally a good, kindhearted person. Unfortunately, that person just disappears and a judgemental, sanctimonious, know-it-all shrew steps in and I eventually cross a line that I'd ordinarily be horrified to cross.

Before I can "advise" others on how to get their houses in order, I need to have my own house in order, and I'm not talking Suzy Homemaker stuff.

I'm sorry that/if I've alienated anyone. It's certainly not my intent, but when this doppelganger forces the good parts of me down into the deep recesses of my psyche, I just don't know when I've gone too far or when to just shut the fuck up.

My love to you all. I'll be back when I'm Nice and Kind Rene again. It usually happens when I figure out how to not take myself so seriously and I regain the limited sense of humour I have.

Sheepishly and In Peace ~

Rene Roberta Haynes...the kind, sweet and gentle little girl who Renee Roberta Nash used to be, and is striving to be once more. Where the hell does she disappear to?? GAH!!

I've been thinking of taking a ferry to West Seattle tomorrow, to go to a Healthcare Reform Town Hall Meeting Fisticuffs Free-For-All. Jim McDermott is going to be there and I like him, even though I'll be out of district.

Do you think there are going to be paramedics around somehwere to give me CPR if I get too angry and upset at the Loudmouth Yellers and Screamers? I may have to tie my hands behind my back to keep from throttling someone, too.

Decisions, decisions..anyone else going that's in the Seattle area?

If any of you are so inclined and don't have a complete cloud cover in your night skies tonight, you might wanna check out the Perseid Meteor Showers. You can see them for a few nights in a row. Check out Sky & Telescope's Interactive Shy Chart just for fun, too.